Unexpected Epiphany

I sat in an auditorium chair; nervous but expectant. This was the first writer’s conference that afforded me appointments with publishers, agents and published authors. Fifteen minutes. How could I possibly communicate my ideas in a mere fifteen minutes? I sat in a chair next to Suzie Eller. This was different than the other meetings, because we belonged to the same community. The blogging community.

So I told her my dilemma. How I’ve been blogging, and writing a novel and now God throws in this twist…Executive Director of a non-profit organization…me? How does a retired home school mama find herself here? And what if I have to quit blogging? What if I never finish the book I’ve spent three years on?

She smiled, and calmly asked in her charming southern drawl, “What is your blog about, Kimberly?”

“I don’t really know, I guess it’s about finding out more about me and how I can influence my world for Him.”

“Do you realize that you’ve used the word ‘influence’ three times in this conversation?” She paused for effect. “What if I told you that it may not be important whether you ever get a book published or not? Whether you continue blogging or not? Clearly the thing that motivates you is to influence the world around you for Christ. However the Lord has you doing that is His business, wouldn’t you agree?”

I felt dizzy. How did this sweet lady figure me out better than I had figured myself out in less than ten minutes? I was struck dumb.

It’s amazing how epiphany bolts through like a bullet train, changing perspective and destiny. I can’t say that there has ever been a conversation that I can look back to that has caused such instant clarity before or since. And after meditating on Suzie’s wise words I realize that there was also wisdom in what I said that this place was all about…”finding out more about me and how I can influence my world for Him.” I guess I just didn’t expect what I found out about myself, or the way that the Lord would have me to influence others.

Epiphany changes the filter on the camera lens you are peering through. Even though the objects haven’t changed, the light in which you view them alters everything. I am called to influence, but how I influence may not be the same filter I saw myself using…and I am learning to leave all preconceptions at the door, because they are rarely what He has planned. What He has planned is usually much bigger.

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Running The Race Against Human Trafficking by Tara Pohlkotte

Tara’s words drip like honey. You’ll have to see it for yourself here and here. But what I admire most about her is that her feet are following her words and heart. So many of us are well intentioned, and yet…that’s as far as it goes. Please join me as I delight in getting to know my world changing friend better…

I have this vibrant, full of life daughter.

She is beautiful because of how present she is in each moment, how in tune she is with her surroundings. She dreams of big things and far off places. She knows her future is wide and unending.

I have these other daughters, too.

Ones that I don’t know by name, but have been called to love. These daughters know a life where the only way of survival is to shut down. Block out the horrors of being sold. Of a number pinned on a red dress replacing their identity, their soul. They also dream of far off places, but only as a means of escaping their reality. The future to these daughters is to just make it through one.more.night. To read the rest of the story please join Tara at my other blog What In The World R U Doing 4 Christ’s Sake…

Friends in Cyber Places

This blogging thing? It’s given me something I never dreamed of. I tend to be kind of old-fashioned progressive. You know the type, I realize that cursive is becoming obsolete, but I grieve it’s death, kicking and screaming the whole way…bordering on denial.

As a regular scoffer of online relationships, I never dreamed that I would make REAL, lasting friendships in the blogosphere. I called them “virtual” friendships. And the “virtual” Free Dictionary defines this word: Existing in the mind, especially as a product of the imagination.

But these friendships have moved beyond imagination, and to reality. Comments have led to e-mails, e-mails to phone calls and now I even have a few meet-ups and visits on my agenda with these evermore becoming “Real” friends. They have encouraged my writing, picked me up when I was down, called just to chat, checked on me when I announced that my husband lost his job…and one of them even offered to help financially so that my children could receive Christmas presents. Though it wasn’t necessary in the physical, the offer was essential to the healing of my worried mind, assuring me that all would be well.

How I have loved getting to know these dear hearts. Each one is so different. Adela was the first to contact me. She sent me an unexpected e-mail declaring, “Let’s be blogging BFF’s.” Her wonderful blog Once A Little Girl never fails to fill me with wonder as she remembers things from her childhood in the voice of her younger self.

Jennifer Ferguson’s sweet spirit reaches through the screen to give you a warm embrace. Shortly after arriving on the blogging scene she invited me to be a part of Soli Deo Gloria Sisterhood, a blogging community sharing blog links on Tuesdays. Our friendship has grown like a rising loaf of yeasty bread…Yum (Can you tell I’m fasting bread?)

I started reading and commenting on Renee’s blog Lessons From Teacher’s and Twits and stalked her like a rock star. Her posts were filled with wittiness and humor and occasionally a little heartbreak. It wasn’t until I wrote a post about quitting blogging that I realized that I was even a blip on her radar. She held up my arms as in the story of Moses, and stirred up the blogging community to do the same when I considered a permanent break from blogging.

And then there’s sweet Emily. Emily who is in every way an artist, who feels every emotion deeply and dishes out compassion and gooey love straight from the heart of Christ. Her paintings and her prose are full of the pain of beauty found in heartbreak; the love that binds together a man and woman as well as the product of their love; and the joy of life walking with Him. What can I say about her other than that to know her is to love her?

And there are others, too many of you to mention. But know that you are all an unexpected treasures to me.

I recently had a conversation with my son about how surprised I was at the sincerity and depth of friendship I had been experiencing through this blogging experiment. He chastised my old soul with the wisdom that often defies his eighteen years. “What’s the difference between blogging friends and pen pals? Would you say that a pen pal wasn’t a “real” friend?” So there you have it. Wisdom from an eighteen year old boy, living in a 21st century world, redefining the word “friend”.

Sharing with my good friend Michelle:

and budding friendship with L. L. Barkat:

and with Lovely Laura:

and I have shared 4 people I am thankful for with Ann:

my beautiful friend Emily:

Painting Grace Graffiti or How I Almost Quit Blogging

Photo by Twig_Is_The_Future

“Paint grace-graffiti on the fences;
take in your frightened children who
Are running from the neighborhood bullies
straight to you.” Psalm 17 (The Message)

Recently, I questioned my place here in the Blogosphere. This test, is seems, is common to bloggers who remain. It is our Wilderness of sorts. Jesus went into the desert for 40 days and 40 nights to be tempted of the Devil. His temptations were, at the core, focused on keeping Him from doing what He was called to do.

And so it is the same with us. Our enemies, whether real, or in our own mind, are sent to keep us from doing what we were meant to do…and part of this test must be done alone. But I’m not writing about that part today. I’m writing about the part when strong hands pick me up when I am weak. I’m writing about community.

You see, as I went through my blogging valley, I received encouragement from the unexpected. I expected encouragement from my readers,…and I did get some. But the encouragement that blew my mind was from my blogging mentors. This wouldn’t be so surprising had they known that I considered them my mentors. However, I had admired them from afar, both in proximity and in anonymity. Sure, I left glowing comments on their blogs, but I never asked them for advice or let them know that I was watching their every move in order to copy their behavior in hopes that maybe, just maybe, I’d experience some of their success.

Within moments of posting my blogging woes, I received this comment from Jen:
I saw this on FB and came by to read and was I so surprised to see my name here. And then, my heart broke a little when I read the next few lines. And I know that you know, but I’m just confirming that the world would be a little less caring, a little less bright, and a whole lot less beautiful without YOUR words in it. You are a true original and I am so glad I know you.

This was so humbling and healing. Jen is possibly the kindest blogger I know. She was the first to invite me to join her blogging community, teaching me how to linkup with her weekly community Soli Deo Gloria. (Yes, I was that green at the moment.)

Then there was the Twitter mission started by Renee at Lessons from Twits and Teachers…she and the iconic Ironic Mom Leanne Shirtliffe decided that they were going to beat up the voice in my head that was telling me to quit.

A few days later, I read this Scripture in Psalm 17 from the Message Bible,

“Paint grace-graffiti on the fences;
take in your frightened children who
Are running from the neighborhood bullies
straight to you.”

It was then that I realized that this is just what my friends and mentors had done. They had painted grace-graffiti on my fences, telling my bullies to “KEEP OUT!”

Epiphany! What if I am ever ready to build a fence around those who need protection, even if it’s from themselves? And what if I, with pen or keyboard in hand, determine to ward off those bullies with grace-graffiti? What better place to write grace-graffiti than a real-life virtual wall on Facebook, or as a Tweet? Can I challenge you as well? Find someone who is needing a grace word, and paint some grace-graffiti on their fence. It might be just what they need to continue on!

Jen and Michelle thank you for your kind and encouraging words….and Renee and Leanne? Wow! You really went the extra mile. Keep painting that graffiti! Come to think of it, after Jesus finished with his temptation, two angels were sent to Him in order to minister to His needs…that’s who the two of you were, my angels. Thank you.

What grace-graffiti has been written on your fence lately?

Giving Thanks today with Ann:
and with Laura: and with Michelle:

56. for a husband who shampoos my carpets.
57. for the pattern the stark dormant trees make on the powder blue sky
58. for sunny skies despite cloudy news.
59. for the smell of banana bread in the house even if it’s not for me.
60. that I have enough groceries in the house that I can put off shopping. one. more. day.

and a brand new community at:

Why I Want to Quit Blogging

Sometimes, I’ll read a post by one of my favorite bloggers: Ann, Leanne, Emily or Jen, and I’ll think…it’s useless. Why do I even try to pen down my thoughts and feelings? My words are so inadequate…their words are so unique. Why do I even try?

And then I remember the words to a very old Amy Grant song:

And all I ever have to be
Is what you’ve made me.
Any more or less would be a step
Out of your plan.

As you daily recreate me,
Help me always keep in mind
That I only have to do
What I can find.

And all I ever have to be
All I have to be
All I ever have to be
Is what you’ve made me.

********

God doesn’t want me to be someone else.
He wants me to be me.
If I wrote just like Ann Voskamp, one of us would be unnecessary…
I think it might be me!!

Don’t die a carbon copy, die an original, a masterpiece because you’ve allowed the Master to piece you together.  Let the master artist carve you into the beauty He has in mind.

Finding grace everyday with Ann:

I am forever grateful for
#49 – my internal alarm clock…it never fails me!

#50 – a husband who helps taxi the kids

#51 – cold dagger rain pelting the roof

#52 – a Community Center with a gym for $30 a year!

#53 – dirty dishes, because that means that we’ve eaten…

#54 – words…beautiful, ugly, healing, painful, wonderfully expressive words

#55 – I long for more joy and have found it in Eucharisteo..