I sat in an auditorium chair; nervous but expectant. This was the first writer’s conference that afforded me appointments with publishers, agents and published authors. Fifteen minutes. How could I possibly communicate my ideas in a mere fifteen minutes? I sat in a chair next to Suzie Eller. This was different than the other meetings, because we belonged to the same community. The blogging community.
So I told her my dilemma. How I’ve been blogging, and writing a novel and now God throws in this twist…Executive Director of a non-profit organization…me? How does a retired home school mama find herself here? And what if I have to quit blogging? What if I never finish the book I’ve spent three years on?
She smiled, and calmly asked in her charming southern drawl, “What is your blog about, Kimberly?”
“I don’t really know, I guess it’s about finding out more about me and how I can influence my world for Him.”
“Do you realize that you’ve used the word ‘influence’ three times in this conversation?” She paused for effect. “What if I told you that it may not be important whether you ever get a book published or not? Whether you continue blogging or not? Clearly the thing that motivates you is to influence the world around you for Christ. However the Lord has you doing that is His business, wouldn’t you agree?”
I felt dizzy. How did this sweet lady figure me out better than I had figured myself out in less than ten minutes? I was struck dumb.
It’s amazing how epiphany bolts through like a bullet train, changing perspective and destiny. I can’t say that there has ever been a conversation that I can look back to that has caused such instant clarity before or since. And after meditating on Suzie’s wise words I realize that there was also wisdom in what I said that this place was all about…”finding out more about me and how I can influence my world for Him.” I guess I just didn’t expect what I found out about myself, or the way that the Lord would have me to influence others.
Epiphany changes the filter on the camera lens you are peering through. Even though the objects haven’t changed, the light in which you view them alters everything. I am called to influence, but how I influence may not be the same filter I saw myself using…and I am learning to leave all preconceptions at the door, because they are rarely what He has planned. What He has planned is usually much bigger.