Upon Having a Meltdown in the Midst of a Polar Vortex

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Snow mounds pile waist high and the hairs freeze in my nose.  My cheeks tight with razor winds, and still my insides puddle, melted down and useless.

I’ve come to a often visited place – the end of me.  And though I am a frequent visitor, I foolishly forget this rugged terrain.

Responsibilities pile mile high and I freeze in my tracks…melted down and useless.  Weather beaten sign states, “Welcome to The End of Yourself.”  Cried out, tired and weary worn I shuffle past the sign and like the famous prodigal wondering why I ever left, I lay down to rest in leftover angel’s wings made in powdery snow.

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Because the end of me is the beginning of Him – when I let Him Be.  

I’ve been gently reminded that the responsibilities never came because of my greatness, but because of His. So they are His, they belong to Him, these responsibilities, and He can do what He will as soon as I get out of the way. 

Out of the way to let Him Be.

And is a meltdown such a bad thing when my heart has been cold as ice? And full of self?

Webster’s says that meltdown is 3 : a breakdown of self-control (as from fatigue or overstimulation) 

And burnout is  the condition of someone who has become very physically and emotionally tired after doing a difficult job for a long time.

Isn’t this always the case?  A meltdown comes when I try to be in control of everything and everyone.  When I try to control circumstances that are beyond my control?  

And burnout? When did I lose sight of his yoke being easy?  and His burden light?

Burn out causes meltdown.  Burning the candle at both ends until there is nothing left, when I gloriously recognize that I am in way over my head and there’s nothing left of me to work this out. Fireworks and shooting stars!  I’ve been working and not gracing. 

His grace is sufficient, and His love is overwhelming. These tasks are better trusted to His grace than my works. The warmth of His love has melted me down amidst a polar vortex and Hell can not freeze me over.

 

 

Snow Angel – New Glarus Series – Saturday Morning Serial Linkup


If you need to catch up on All Roads Lead To New Glarus click here.

It was an early snowstorm.  The kind that disappoints trick or treators everywhere.  Costumes are dragged through the slushy stuff of snow; more than a foot of heavy snow that year. It started late on Saturday, and continued all night long.  I awakened in my trailer to the blue-white light of a winter wonderland.

I had to get to work.  I did computer work at church between the morning and evening services, and I knew that digging myself out would be up to me especially since I had uninvited Steve from my life.  Plus, he and his kids were staying overnight at the nearest Holidome, which was about 45 minutes away.

After a hot shower, (thanks to Steve), I started laying out J.’s clothes for church and figuring out what I’d wear while shoveling.  I stumbled into the kitchen to make a pot of coffee so that it would be ready when I came back in.

I squinted in the early morning light.  Were my eyes playing tricks on me?  Was that my car, already scraped and ready to go?  What was that brown and red thing on the hood?  Forgetting the layers I’d assembled for my task, I threw on my jacket and boots.  My eyes smarted from the dazzling sunshine on the snow.  Someone had indeed dug me out!  And the item on my hood?  A stuffed animal holding a note.

Dear Kim,

I hope you aren’t angry, but I couldn’t sleep this morning knowing that you’d have to shovel all of this heavy snow yourself.

Drive carefully,

Steve

A swirl of emotions twirled their way around my insides.  My heart melted a fraction at his kindness.  Steve had driven an hour and a half round trip to make sure I could make it to work.

For the next installment of the All Roads Lead to New Glarus Series, click here.


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All Seasons Have Their Glory (via To tell you the truth)

As some of you may be experiencing the winter of lent, the distance of the desert and the wandering of the wilderness, meditate on the end of the matter. Just as the snowdrops and crocus peek their heads out of hard cold soil, our spirits begin to emerge from the lenten season, fresh and new with resurrection life. A new epiphany of Who He is and Whose you are.
This post is from the blog of a dear friend of mine. Enjoy her lovely words as well as her lovely pictures. By the way, I’m the snow angel….;)

All Seasons Have Their Glory I am late… to give homage to the passing of Winter 2011.  It’s okay.  I was in denial in December that it was actually Winter.  I call it my “Delusional December”.   But these images are no illusion or delusion.  They are moments of glory during this latest season of dormancy.  Some moments of the glorious you can actually capture…   Most, you must accept by faith that they actually occurred, as there is no proof except the mark left on your … Read More

via To tell you the truth