Unexpected Epiphany

I sat in an auditorium chair; nervous but expectant. This was the first writer’s conference that afforded me appointments with publishers, agents and published authors. Fifteen minutes. How could I possibly communicate my ideas in a mere fifteen minutes? I sat in a chair next to Suzie Eller. This was different than the other meetings, because we belonged to the same community. The blogging community.

So I told her my dilemma. How I’ve been blogging, and writing a novel and now God throws in this twist…Executive Director of a non-profit organization…me? How does a retired home school mama find herself here? And what if I have to quit blogging? What if I never finish the book I’ve spent three years on?

She smiled, and calmly asked in her charming southern drawl, “What is your blog about, Kimberly?”

“I don’t really know, I guess it’s about finding out more about me and how I can influence my world for Him.”

“Do you realize that you’ve used the word ‘influence’ three times in this conversation?” She paused for effect. “What if I told you that it may not be important whether you ever get a book published or not? Whether you continue blogging or not? Clearly the thing that motivates you is to influence the world around you for Christ. However the Lord has you doing that is His business, wouldn’t you agree?”

I felt dizzy. How did this sweet lady figure me out better than I had figured myself out in less than ten minutes? I was struck dumb.

It’s amazing how epiphany bolts through like a bullet train, changing perspective and destiny. I can’t say that there has ever been a conversation that I can look back to that has caused such instant clarity before or since. And after meditating on Suzie’s wise words I realize that there was also wisdom in what I said that this place was all about…”finding out more about me and how I can influence my world for Him.” I guess I just didn’t expect what I found out about myself, or the way that the Lord would have me to influence others.

Epiphany changes the filter on the camera lens you are peering through. Even though the objects haven’t changed, the light in which you view them alters everything. I am called to influence, but how I influence may not be the same filter I saw myself using…and I am learning to leave all preconceptions at the door, because they are rarely what He has planned. What He has planned is usually much bigger.

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Love In An Elevator – The God Version

I have a story I hope to tell you soon. A story that has been in the making since the time that I was born. A story that will probably change this space, forever…and so it is bittersweet. Although I would love to gush forth all of the beautiful details, discretion begs me to wait.

Photo courtesy of Mark Coggins

Sometimes it is in the waiting room of life that the real work is done. Change of heart. The labor of patience. And then come the words, “The Doctor will see you now.” It is at this time that the real butterflies begin, as you wait in the office clothed in a hospital gown that barely covers you, and you feel exposed and nervous about your future. What will the doctor say? Will your life be changed forever by his words?

photo courtesy

Recently, I found myself in a high speed elevator, actually the world’s fastest elevator. After stepping into the tiny room, with far too many passengers, the door closed. The air seemed suddenly compressed and I felt slightly panicked. I was going to be translated almost 100 floors in less than a minute. I would travel confined to this tiny room full of strangers for pilgrims. The floor suddenly met my heart. And once the elevator began to move, I couldn’t tell whether it was going up or down. I wished that I could change my mind. I didn’t really need to see three states away, did I? But the doors were shut tight, and there was no turning back. And actually, other than the occasional popping in my ears, I couldn’t even tell that I was moving…Until the stop, when my heart was reintroduced to the floor. And when the doors opened, the people around me began to file out. As I stood on tiptoe to get a peek at the view, I saw a hint of blue sky. Suddenly the ride seemed worth it, because as I crossed the threshold from the uncertain and unplanted elevator onto certain and solid ground, I found that I was somewhere completely different than where I had I started. “Todo, I don’t think we’re in Kansas anymore,” I whispered. Because in a moment, I had been transported from a world of black and white reality to a 3-D movie in technicolor far above the clouds; a world in which I could see clearly everything for miles.

photo courtesy of wallg

My life has been like that as of late. A few months ago, I was grieving the end of an era. I felt frightened, because I wasn’t sure what the purpose of my future would be. The focus of my every day for the past fourteen years had been home schooling, my children, husband and family. One by one, each of those roles have changed. For certain, I will always be a mother, but the boundaries in this position change with time. Of course, I will always be a wife, until death do one of us part. Obviously, I will always be a daughter, until one empty day sees my lonely body looking down on freshly opened dirt. But now that my youngest has completed her high school work, my husband has a new job which rarely sees him home, and my widowed mother is a whole state away, my place in the world, has become ambiguous, at best. I thought that maybe my purpose on planet earth was completed. My elevator jolted to a stop.

But in actuality, it just started to move. For I had been on the ground floor for so long, that I was terrified to leave its comfortable confines. At first, I was certain that this elevator was going down, down into the depths of despair. Then after the initial jolt, when floor met heart, I was positive that I was going nowhere. Occasionally, my ears would pop and sometimes I even felt a little dizzy, and I wondered what was happening. Was I ill? Maybe I was dying. What were these strange sensations?

Instead, I suddenly felt my knees buckle…the doors have opened and I can see a hint of blue, and the promise of where the elevator has taken me….I’ll let you know soon…

Where have your elevators taken you in your lifetime?

262. For faithful friends.
263. For the Shepherd’s leading (even when I don’t recognize until years later.)
264. For an amazing church.
265. For our neighborhood Bible Study.
266. For the Heights co-op.
267. For shopping dates with my girl.
268. For grills that keep cooking mess down.
269. For the Holy Spirit who reminds me that it’s all about Him.
270. For SELAH co-op
271. For dates with the Holy Spirit
272. For inspirational ideas.
273. For the best women’s conference EVER!
274. For marriage in innocence…
275. For the privilege of serving Him.

Counting with dear Ann:

…sharing a playdate with Laura:

…hanging out with L.L.: On In Around button

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