Sharing over at the High Calling Community.
He is the One great Love of my life. The One Who has absolutely never failed me. He pursues me endlessly and relentlessly. The truth is: I can never pursue Him enough. I want to know Him more, but I get busy. Many times with His business. And I forget that one of His greatest pleasures, as is true of any parent, is to merely sit and “be” with Him.
You see, I prove my pursuit of anything with the amount of time I am willing to give to it. My time with Him doesn’t always look the same. Sometimes, I read His love letters to me. And I weep for the love He has lavished on this broken life. Other times, in between back-to-back appointments at work I whisper His Name, light a candle and breathe deeply a moment. He rushes to my side. Peace comes. Even in the midst of a storm.
I try to spend time outdoors and walk daily. Occassionally I will lament that I am not a runner like many of my friends. In fact, I do not even walk fast enough to raise my pulse. I’ve tried, but I always seem to see Him and, “Be still my heart!” time slows and stands still and I know that He is God. It might be in a piece of lace poking through pavement that stops me in my tracks, or a field of gold or an emerald hummingbird drunk on nector. He offers presents in His Presence. I blush for His goodness to me.
I pursue Him in quiet. Not the kind of quiet my ears can hear, but the kind my heart enjoys. This quiet can come in an echoing gym full of loud children, or in the back of a screaming ambulance. I only need to close my eyes and let Him quiet me. And He stills my jittering insides. Time and space melt away. The sounds of this life grow distant. He is here and now and all that matters, and Heaven’s perspective comes to my momentary reality. Suddenly, I can do anything for He strengthens me.
I pursue Him in community. I can not become so enraptured in His love that I isolate myself from this world. Though I am not of this world, I am in it. And I am in it, in this time and place for a reason. For such a time as this. I am His Body. Not exclusively, but collectively. I am His Bride in part, not in whole. I must not forget what He loves and pursues. For God so loved the world…
That might mean changing diapers and wiping snotty noses. It might mean doing more than putting a few coins in a homeless man’s cup, but taking him to McDonald’s and listening to his story. It might mean, and this is the hard place, revealing truth and setting boundaries and hoping that the receiver will allow truth to bring freedom. My love for Him drives me to love what He loves.
So there you have it. My heart runs hard after Him and not hard enough. Time, quiet and community. For me, in this holy trinity He is found. When I pursue even a little, He pursues me greatly. My mustard seed becomes a great shade tree; protecting, feeding, bringing life to my hungry soul.
…and I chronicle His grace