Deidra Manning is an inspiration to me. She shares from the most intimate parts of her life, and that is a very brave thing to do. Having struggled with eating disorders and depression, she shares with an open heart how she continues to walk in victory. Please make sure that you visit her place, The Middle. You won’t be sorry!
I never wanted to be a stay-at-home mom. Ever. Not because it’s hard, not because it’s a huge sacrifice, not because it’s all guts and no glory, not because I don’t like being a wife and mom, but because I was afraid—of silence, of myself, of not mattering, of losing my identity in the laundry and cleaning, of not using my education, of causing financial hardship for my family, of failure.
But almost two years ago I was pushed into it—that space, those feelings—when I got fired from my job. I wondered where God was and why He let it happen; I thought I was being punished. Banished from my comfort zone, I was stranded in a strange land. I didn’t want to be there; I didn’t ask to be there; I couldn’t understand. I felt trapped in a place I wasn’t made for.
But the truth is, I was created for the very place I was scared of.
Home is still. Home is peace. Home requires the real, authentic me. Home demands my full attention, requires every piece of me. Home forces me to listen, to look into the world through windows of love, to enter it through doors of grace. Home is where truth is ignited, where full acceptance is found. And that’s what I was afraid of—being, listening, changing, becoming. I was afraid of me, of what He would require.
I thought home meant missing out, but home really means being full. I thought home kept doors closed, but actually, it opens them.
That’s what happens when God meets you in the place you’re afraid of—He transforms it, makes it wholly yours, gives fresh purpose, reveals the truth.
My home, once scary, is now sacred. It’s where He meets me daily and reminds of His grace. It’s where He’s teaching me to sit and listen—it’s where I’m finding freedom to be me.
Won’t you join me on Fridays for a new series and linkup called, “Take Off Your Shoes, You’re On Holy Ground!” or TOYS? Each week a post will be shared about the significance of a place and you will be able to share as well!! Just 1) Write a post about how a place has ministered to you. 2) Add your post to the linkup. 3) Add the button to your post. 4)Visit and encourage your neighbors!
journeytoepiphany.wordpress.com 
“I thought home meant missing out, but home really means being full.” Oh so true. So touched by your post, Deidra.
and Thank you so much for sharing your space, Kim!
(I’m loving this link up…need to figure out how to participate….)
Thank you so much. It’s been quite the journey, but I’m learning so much along the way!
Thank you!
Powerful post, Deidra. I’m especially struck by this: “But the truth is, I was created for the very place I was scared of.” I’m going to be living with that today.
Thanks, friend. It’s amazing how we sit right on top of the truth sometimes, not realizing it’s what’s holding us up in the place we’re afraid to be.
Thanks, friend. It’s amazing how we sit right on top of the truth sometimes, not even realizing it’s what’s holding us up in those places we’re afraid to be.
Thanks, friend. It’s amazing how we sit right on top of the truth sometimes, not even know it’s what’s holding us up in those scary places.
Sandra said it well, “Powerful!” I was also struck by the same sentence she was. So glad for you that home is not scary anymore but sacred. Home, the place you are raising your children, THAT is holy ground. Your home is beautiful and so are you! Thank you for sharing!
Thanks, ladies. Having a hard time commenting – it doesn’t want to cooperate! Anyway, it’s amazing how sometimes we are sitting right on top of truth and don’t even realize it’s what’s holding us up in those scary places.
Beautiful, Deidra! Your home is lovely and I love how you say you were created for this. My dream was always to be an at home mommy, but those same fears get me from time to time. But He created me for this!
thanks for this great post. I’ve been a stay at home mom for 15 years now. I can’t think of anywhere else forsing me to look into the best and worst parts of myself, accept what I find and grow from that place. Blessings….
Love the way God allows us to push ourselves into the unknown, knowing that we will find our true selves in the midst of it. I can relate to your fear about being a stay-at-home mom, and finding the sacredness of it along the way. Lovely post Deidra.
Thank you, everyone. I’ve tried to respond but have had difficulty. Hope this goes one will post.
Well it did post – with my mistake – LOL. I meant to say I hope this one posts!
Sometimes facing what we fear becomes the place to grow.
Thank-you for sharing your experience! I enjoyed the reminder, so clearly written, that God meets us in the places that we fear.
It is just amazing when HE meets us where we are and transforms what we thought we knew. Beautiful post, Deidra!