I have a story I hope to tell you soon. A story that has been in the making since the time that I was born. A story that will probably change this space, forever…and so it is bittersweet. Although I would love to gush forth all of the beautiful details, discretion begs me to wait.
Sometimes it is in the waiting room of life that the real work is done. Change of heart. The labor of patience. And then come the words, “The Doctor will see you now.” It is at this time that the real butterflies begin, as you wait in the office clothed in a hospital gown that barely covers you, and you feel exposed and nervous about your future. What will the doctor say? Will your life be changed forever by his words?
Recently, I found myself in a high speed elevator, actually the world’s fastest elevator. After stepping into the tiny room, with far too many passengers, the door closed. The air seemed suddenly compressed and I felt slightly panicked. I was going to be translated almost 100 floors in less than a minute. I would travel confined to this tiny room full of strangers for pilgrims. The floor suddenly met my heart. And once the elevator began to move, I couldn’t tell whether it was going up or down. I wished that I could change my mind. I didn’t really need to see three states away, did I? But the doors were shut tight, and there was no turning back. And actually, other than the occasional popping in my ears, I couldn’t even tell that I was moving…Until the stop, when my heart was reintroduced to the floor. And when the doors opened, the people around me began to file out. As I stood on tiptoe to get a peek at the view, I saw a hint of blue sky. Suddenly the ride seemed worth it, because as I crossed the threshold from the uncertain and unplanted elevator onto certain and solid ground, I found that I was somewhere completely different than where I had I started. “Todo, I don’t think we’re in Kansas anymore,” I whispered. Because in a moment, I had been transported from a world of black and white reality to a 3-D movie in technicolor far above the clouds; a world in which I could see clearly everything for miles.
My life has been like that as of late. A few months ago, I was grieving the end of an era. I felt frightened, because I wasn’t sure what the purpose of my future would be. The focus of my every day for the past fourteen years had been home schooling, my children, husband and family. One by one, each of those roles have changed. For certain, I will always be a mother, but the boundaries in this position change with time. Of course, I will always be a wife, until death do one of us part. Obviously, I will always be a daughter, until one empty day sees my lonely body looking down on freshly opened dirt. But now that my youngest has completed her high school work, my husband has a new job which rarely sees him home, and my widowed mother is a whole state away, my place in the world, has become ambiguous, at best. I thought that maybe my purpose on planet earth was completed. My elevator jolted to a stop.
But in actuality, it just started to move. For I had been on the ground floor for so long, that I was terrified to leave its comfortable confines. At first, I was certain that this elevator was going down, down into the depths of despair. Then after the initial jolt, when floor met heart, I was positive that I was going nowhere. Occasionally, my ears would pop and sometimes I even felt a little dizzy, and I wondered what was happening. Was I ill? Maybe I was dying. What were these strange sensations?
Instead, I suddenly felt my knees buckle…the doors have opened and I can see a hint of blue, and the promise of where the elevator has taken me….I’ll let you know soon…
Where have your elevators taken you in your lifetime?
262. For faithful friends.
263. For the Shepherd’s leading (even when I don’t recognize until years later.)
264. For an amazing church.
265. For our neighborhood Bible Study.
266. For the Heights co-op.
267. For shopping dates with my girl.
268. For grills that keep cooking mess down.
269. For the Holy Spirit who reminds me that it’s all about Him.
270. For SELAH co-op
271. For dates with the Holy Spirit
272. For inspirational ideas.
273. For the best women’s conference EVER!
274. For marriage in innocence…
275. For the privilege of serving Him.
I so enjoyed this read and totally get the experiences have your life transitioning and faith growing by recognizing that He never left you and he never will. And that scary feeling of heart meeting floor after the door shuts and the relief when it opens to a brand new view. Thank You so much for sharing.
http://leah-jamielynn.typepad.com
Thanks Leah…I think that this is a feeling we can all relate to!
Oh changes in seasons–I don’t do so well with changes. Or with elevator rides. I look forward to seeing what God has in store for you next. And I love #269! Blessings!
I don’t mind normal elevators, but the fastest in the world? I wasn’t very thrilled to say the least! I’m glad my son talked me into it.
My heart was going up with you in the elevator; you told your story well and I look forward to reading what God is up to in your life…sounds exciting 🙂
Thank you Dolly, I need all of the company I can get!
Oh, those elevators scare me. And I’m not where you are yet, but that season seems to be just around the corner for me. You have a blank page and you can decide what the story will say, as He guides your pen. Good things await, I am sure.
But dear Shelly, I couldn’t hop on planes the way you do…we all have things both literal and figurative that He holds our hand through…
I can feel the anticipation as you share! It sounds like an exciting new development in your story, Kimberly.
It is exciting to say the least.
oh these times of transition…even that name brings back memory of labor…but we must remember…after transition comes the birth of new life…a joy we could not imagine…I pray that as you breath through transition…you hold on to the hope of new life…life full of more joy than can be imagined….keep taking those cleansing breaths…blessings to you~
Breathe in, breathe out….I need to do some God breathing…
Some elevator rides are so much bumpier than others.. thankful that your door has opened a bit and you’re glimpsing a sliver of blue. Change can be SO HARD.. even when we’re clinging to Him. Blessings to you as you step out exactly where He wants you to be!
That is my prayer Alicia…that I am diligent with the land that He has brought me to.
Interesting…can’t wait to hear what’s on the other side of the elevator doors!
Blessings!
Thanks Joe….the story is coming soon.
You’re killing me here! 🙂 Can’t wait to see what’s next for you!
It’s coming!
It’s interesting to think of our lives as elevators. I always dig my heels in when life changes but each time I find the change good. Looking forward to sharing your elevator.
It’s good to have some familiar faces on my elevator.
Girl, how am I supposed to sleep tonight? 😉
The journey of transition scares the ebeejeebies out of me. I get claustrophobic as I feel trapped in the ride. But when you get there, the sweet release of fresh new-to-me air is invigorating. And I always wonder what I was so worried about. Because He took care of absolutely everything…
praying for you, friend. as you venture into all things new. To God be the glory!
loved reading your heart here…
I admit there has been a few air restricting panic attacks in there… 🙂 But God is faithful.
Thanks for the beautiful post! Recently, elevators mostly mean travel, either in a hotel or at the airport, which for my husband and me usually means a dance competition and an opportunity to minister through dance. Praise God! But this weekend it was in a hospital, visiting his 89 year-old mother with pneumonia. But God is with us in the elevators and always, no matter what the circumstances!
God bless,
Laurie
Laurie, you’re life always sounds so romantic and exciting!
Oh, my goodness, I’m on the edge of my seat here! I can’t wait to hear your story. Must admit, i’ve been on that squeezed in place for a while. Is it time to step out and see three states away?
The story continues soon and very soon.
Oh the suspense…. Yes God sometimes takes us on a wild ride! We just have to trust Him, that He knows that wherever He takes us, we will become more and more the person He planned us to be!
…we will become more and more the person He planned us to be!…exactly the words that describe my situation…
Oh my! I have just ridden the elevator with you and have some thoughts to ponder as to where my life is headed or may just be right now.
And…I will be back soon with a post @ Being Woven. Thanks for coming by though.
Caring through Christ, ~ linda
I’m glad to have you as a passenger on my elevator! It’s better to do these things together, you know.
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That story I was begging to tell has been told…and it did change this space and me forever…
Wow! I can’t wait to see where you are going next.