Eulogy to The Death of A Role


Tomorrow, my son turns eighteen. Yikes,  I am the mother of an eighteen year old.  He is a fine young man.  He loves God, works full-time at our church and honors his heavenly Father as well as his earthly parents.

So, why so blue?  Well, my baby isn’t a baby anymore, and I suppose he hasn’t been for some time, but there’s something about eighteen that says, “I have now entered the adult world.”  I am very willing to be adviser and mentor and not the parent who is to be obeyed.  He has earned my trust, and I know that he will make wise decisions, and that even when he makes a mistake, he will run to the High Tower.

But I do feel a little bit like I did when I got my divorce.  If I’m not a stay at home mom, who am I?  I have one year of home schooling left with my youngest, and then what?   I look to the future with both trepidation and excitement.  I will be available to do things I never would have had time to do before. And yet, there is a death.  The death of a role.  Thank goodness there are roles of a  lifetime.

I am always a daughter.  Even after my parents are gone, I am God’s daughter.

I am always a follower of Christ.

I am always His Princess, His bride.

However, everything else is subject to change.  I may work somewhere for some time, but I could change jobs or careers.  I will be married until the day that one of us passes to Glory, and then I will no longer be a wife.

I guess the moral of the story is that we must sow the majority of our lives into eternity, and never into temporary situations.  Because if we put all of our eggs in one basket, many times there is a day when that basket is empty, or broken or exchanged for a different basket.  Then what?

Jesus said,

New International Version (©1984)
I tell you the truth, unless a kernel of wheat falls to the ground and dies, it remains only a single seed. But if it dies, it produces many seeds.

So, I guess I can see that as the time has come for the bulk of my attention will be given elsewhere, that I must choose to look at the future with excitement, knowing that God has a purpose for the rest of my days and it’s a good future.  I feel like an actress who has just finished a very long run on Broadway, playing the same role for years.  Who will I get to be next?

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28 thoughts on “Eulogy to The Death of A Role

  1. Tough, isn’t it, when your kids are suddenly grown-ups? Still, they’ll always be your kiddos, not matter how old they are. This past year my daughter turned 50…ouch, that’s a shock. I’m sure she’s an imposter. How could I possibly have a daughter that old.

  2. Hi there! Thank you for stopping by my blog and leaving me such a lovely comment. This is a lovely post. Many years ago, a friend gave me a tiny sculpture of a tadpole made of pewter as a symbol of change, so that I would learn not to be afraid of it. I’m passing this tadpole on to you, may it inspire you to live life to the fullest and give you the strength to embrace change in whatever form it takes.

  3. I love this~”we must sow the majority of our lives into eternity, and never into temporary situations.” Thank you for the reminder. Timely. My oldest is turning 17 and my other 3 are fast coming up behind her. I keep trying to freeze them, but, alas, it never works. So I hang on for the ride and enjoy the moment of now.

    PS~Thank you, too, for stopping by “my place”. 🙂

    • No, thanks for coming to mine!! I love your devotional blog. I truly have enjoyed every season that my children have been in, but that’s why this new era is so difficult because they will be entering a season without my daily observation. However, it is a good and healthy thing, and I’m excited for all of our futures.

  4. Hi, just letting you know the button is on my blog now if you would like to check it out. Happy birthday to your son. It is definitely a milestone for you and him.

      • What problems are you having? I don’t use wordpress so I am not familiar with how you edit your html. I did a quick google search and found a few options that you might try. Here is how to add html according to the site I found

        copy the html code box for their button and then choose ‘add a gadget w/html/java link’ and place that code in the pop up box, hit enter the button should appear in your sidebar

        The html code is in the box under the button on my blog. The other alternative if this doesn’t work is to simply right click on the image download it to your computer and then upload it onto your site as a normal image. You could then add a link to the image. If these two don’t work then let me know in detail what happens when you try these two options then I might be able to help you more.

    • Thanks! You give very good lessons…:D This was an amazingly kind gesture on your part. Readers click the purple ribbon button to find out about the story of an amazing blogging friend of ours, and her recovery after her college age son tragically passed away…

  5. Lovely post. Our children do grow up, connecting with their families, their own adventures, and the little boy or little girl-is no more. I loved each moment as mother-caring for her young. The day came when I had to let go-its now an empty nest. I think back so many times-when they were young-and the many moments of caring for them. Now, as adults, I still care for them-and enjoy all their accomplishments-grandchildren now to watch them grow up and soon will leave the nest. It’s a natural cycle. Memories that will last a lifetime. God is good- “All the time”

  6. What a lovely way to look at a transition. We have opprotunities to play many roles in life. Though changes are unnerving and sometimes scary, when we remember God is always there we know we can handle the old and the new.

    • That’s true. It reminds me of the Cosby show, when they kept coming back home, and they kept trying to get rid of them. 😀 Focusing on eternity is the only way to go! Quite literally, now that I think about it! 😉

  7. Yes, bittersweet, isn’t it? I remember when my first born turned 18. The graduation ritual is not just for your young-one, it’s for his mother, too. So much a turning point in your life. I still had three at home. Still, I knew it was the beginning of a new beginning. Fun times and some rude awakenings are ahead, I am sure. That’s what the journey is all about.

  8. As a widow I can understand “role” changes. It shakes us up a bit. Like the seasons, changes are inevitable in our lifetime. “Who am I?” The thing I’ve had to remember is that first and foremost: I am His servant. I serve Him when my role is wife and mother, widow and grandmother, etc. All in service to Him. These roles do indeed change, and we tremble and weep. His unexpected role change afterall….took Satan by surprise. He came to serve humbly and as we follow His example we find His peace. As always….thanks for sharing your heart.

  9. Pingback: Eulogy to the Death of A Role Part Deux « Journey Towards Epiphany

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