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Snow mounds pile waist high and the hairs freeze in my nose.  My cheeks tight with razor winds, and still my insides puddle, melted down and useless.

I’ve come to a often visited place – the end of me.  And though I am a frequent visitor, I foolishly forget this rugged terrain.

Responsibilities pile mile high and I freeze in my tracks…melted down and useless.  Weather beaten sign states, “Welcome to The End of Yourself.”  Cried out, tired and weary worn I shuffle past the sign and like the famous prodigal wondering why I ever left, I lay down to rest in leftover angel’s wings made in powdery snow.

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Because the end of me is the beginning of Him – when I let Him Be.  

I’ve been gently reminded that the responsibilities never came because of my greatness, but because of His. So they are His, they belong to Him, these responsibilities, and He can do what He will as soon as I get out of the way. 

Out of the way to let Him Be.

And is a meltdown such a bad thing when my heart has been cold as ice? And full of self?

Webster’s says that meltdown is 3 : a breakdown of self-control (as from fatigue or overstimulation) 

And burnout is  the condition of someone who has become very physically and emotionally tired after doing a difficult job for a long time.

Isn’t this always the case?  A meltdown comes when I try to be in control of everything and everyone.  When I try to control circumstances that are beyond my control?  

And burnout? When did I lose sight of his yoke being easy?  and His burden light?

Burn out causes meltdown.  Burning the candle at both ends until there is nothing left, when I gloriously recognize that I am in way over my head and there’s nothing left of me to work this out. Fireworks and shooting stars!  I’ve been working and not gracing. 

His grace is sufficient, and His love is overwhelming. These tasks are better trusted to His grace than my works. The warmth of His love has melted me down amidst a polar vortex and Hell can not freeze me over.

 

 

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